You wanted a surprise, you pathetic little stroke slut, so here it is: I'm going to chain-smoke my vape while hovering over you, blowing thick clouds in your desperate face and spitting thick, degrading strings of saliva all over you—reminding you that you're nothing but a receptacle for my waste. 

I'll be wearing my favorite strap just to torment you, hawk globs of spit all over the shaft, and make you get on your knees to lick every drop off like a hungry little pet while you edge exactly how I command. When you're trembling and pathetic, I'll ruin that orgasm completely, making you dribble out unsatisfied, then make you cover that sensitive tip with your palm and clean up every drop of your mess with your fingers and mouth—because that's what cum-eating cleanup sluts do. 

Buy it, bitch.